being defriended

Ok so this happened a week or so ago but I have been thinking about it since. Of the three of us that were defriended I believe the other two have said their piece and are over it. Me, I've been thinking about it and trying to decide if I care or not. At first I felt happy, thankful that it was done. I had been thinking about doing it but didn't have the heart or guts to do it. I think its mean, plain and simple. Its a silly thing but to me its like saying I'm writing you off, I'm done with you. I had been thinking about doing it because I was tired of reading all of the "oh poor me" status updates and then all of the "oh you are wonderful, how dare they not be your friend and judge you the way they did" replies. It was like just when I thought we had gotten past what had happened all of a sudden a new status would pop up, and yes you are correct in saying that I don't know they were about me and the situation but just like she made the assumptions that mine were about her, then I was assuming that hers were about me and us. The difference with that is I wouldn't have let others bad mouth her/them, I wouldn't have let others write on my page what a horrible person she was or let them judge her for something she said or did. To me a true friend would have each others back, I wouldn't let another friend or relative bad mouth them. Besides the fact that this was between her and I, only her and I and then all of a sudden Ive got a mom and dad, then aunts and cousins and friends and peeps calling me a bad person cause I spoke my mind. I know im rambling but bear with me.....
Back when this all started I gave my opinion, right, whether she spoke the words "Nicole what do you think about this situation" or not, it was a given she wanted to know what I thought. So I told her. I thought she was having an affair, he was still married, he may have been unhappy but it was still a marriage. She contributed to the failure of the marriage. He was miserable, he slept on the couch, he didn't love her....thats what they make divorce for. He wasn't divorced and back when he developed the feelings for her he was still married. End of it! Thats my opinion, I didn't say I am right, I didn't say I hate you for doing this and I'll never be your friend again, I didn't say your an awful horrible person. At that moment I knew we would get past this. Yes I may have trouble accepting him but I wouldve gotten over it. We wouldn't have ever been the 6 of us again because things had changed to much. My feelings were so hurt at first because everyone I talked to (meaning the bffers and husbands)felt the same way but yet it was me that was the bad person. ok I'm getting off track here...what I'm trying to say is that I don't know where it all went wrong. And now reading some of the things that lovely facebook has published I realized that even though they can make me feel bad about how I felt maybe they weren't the friends that I thought they were. Their whole family and all their friends know the situation I can guarantee that and they've all formed these horrible opinions of me because of what I "did" to her how could we ever be friends again. It keeps coming up that friends don't judge and they don't walk away and they are loyal. Well where the hell is that loyalty to me, why is it ok for everyone and their neighbor to get on their facebook page and tell them that they were right and I am horrible for doing what I did. What the fuck did I do besides tell you what I thought. If I was stepping out on my marriage or doing something incredibly dumb I would expect to be told, and I would hope that I would be a loyal friend and learn from the situation. SO thank you facebook thank you for being there for her to complain to and thank you for allowing everyone she knows to build her back up and make her feel ok about her decisions because eventually I thought thats what I would be doing for her, thank God she has you. I'm honestly happy to not be able to read their status updates anymore, I can move on. I wish her, her family, her new friends, and especially her children a wonderful life.